So I have been a tad on the quiet side lately. I'm not sure why or more to the point, I'm not sure if there is one reason or if it's due to a collection of many reasons.
Nothing to write about. Not feeling particularly inspired. Don't have a burning desire to do this or that. Sick children. Birthday parties. Rain. Rain. A bit more rain. Too much clutter. A very clingy two-and-a-half year old (read: sleeping with me, needing to shower with me). Not much time to myself. House hunting in Sydney. Lots of solo parenting due to the Mr's work travel commitments. Too many late nights. Oh and the kicker this week has involved me getting a case of impetigo (google it but make sure you're not eating at the time). And since this blog is meant to be my "happy place" I didn't really feel like giving a voice to any of those tricky bits and pieces of life.
Problem with that is I can't seem to blog about anything else until I get this out. Does that make sense? Perhaps it has been causing me a creative block NOT writing about these things.
Back in December I vowed to myself I would not blog about my miscarriage again. Not because I wanted to pretend it never happened but, you know, this space was never meant to be about "that" kind of stuff. And not that I mind reading other people's blogs that discuss these types of issues because I do (it kinda makes me feel like I'm not the only one you know?) but I just felt it was the last time I wanted to deal with it in a public forum.
However I'm guessing lately that my "ho-humness" with life in general could be related to the fact that it was around about sometime this time last year that it all happened. I say, "sometime around this time" because in the ultimate dose of mother-guilt I have no idea of the exact moment that poor little baby's heart stopped beating.
So for now I am trying to be a bit gentle with myself in other ways. I'm spending time tinkering around with bits and pieces of furniture in an attempt to make my space a bit more inspiring (for everyone)
I'm trying to take the time to sit down when I have a cup of tea in my hand
I'm trying not to feel too guilty about flicking on the tv for the kids every now and then and I'm taking the time when I can to visit blogs even if I'm not writing one.
So we shall see what comes of that.